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如何與自戀的老板共處
Craig Malkin: If you’re dealing with a boss who is just sort of arrogant and can be aloof and difficult to deal with, there are two approaches that are very effective. One is that any time they show any capacity for caring or concern, say, for example, they give you some encouragement. You really want to jump on that. Ignore the advice about stroking your boss’s ego for what they’ve done. That actually, according to research, makes them worse. It makes them more destructive. But if you focus your intentions on those moments to say to your boss something like, "I really appreciated the encouragement you gave me yesterday. It helped me get to the finish line." That kind of feedback, that is a way of connecting with your boss and really helping them warm up to you a little bit and can actually reduce their narcissistic tendencies.
克雷格.馬爾金：如果你面對(duì)的是一個(gè)傲慢的老板，而且很冷漠，很難處理，那么有兩種方法是非常有效的。其中一個(gè)辦法是當(dāng)你的老板表現(xiàn)出在乎你或者關(guān)心的能力時(shí)，比如他們會(huì)給你一些鼓勵(lì)，而事實(shí)上你確實(shí)想罵他一頓。不過這個(gè)時(shí)候最好不要因?yàn)槔习遄载?fù)的行為而與他頂嘴。事實(shí)上，根據(jù)研究，這樣可能讓結(jié)果更為糟糕，讓事情變得更壞。但如果你換一種方式，當(dāng)再次遇到此類情況時(shí)，你可以這樣說“我真的很感激你昨天給我的鼓勵(lì)，使我能夠很好的完成工作”，這種反饋是一種與你老板溝通的良好方式，使你自己看起來不那么冷冰冰，實(shí)際上也可以在一定程度上減少他們的自戀傾向�！�
The other thing to keep in mind is if you are looking for a promotion. If you are approaching a boss who’s narcissistic, this isn’t going to be like the average boss who’s maybe thinking about the whole system or organization, so you want to make sure you frame whatever plan you’re bringing to them, you want to make sure that you are appealing to what’s in it for them? That’s the first thing you want to make sure that you’re answering as a question. You want to be able to say, "Look. If I do this, I know you’ve been looking for growth in the company, I can bring that to you. If you put me in this position, I can bring that to the table for you. So I think it’d make sense to give me this opportunity."
另一件要記住的事情是，如果你想要升職。而你的老板是一位自戀者，這樣的老板不會(huì)像大多數(shù)老板一樣會(huì)有一個(gè)整體的系統(tǒng)或架構(gòu)考慮。所以你要確保你拿給他看的計(jì)劃框架有什么地方能夠吸引他。這是你必須要做的，而且是首要的事情，把這個(gè)當(dāng)做一個(gè)問題，你自己一定要回答好這個(gè)問題�！翱�，我知道你一直在尋求公司的發(fā)展，如果我這樣做，我可以帶來更大的發(fā)展。如果你把我放在這個(gè)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)位置，我可以把效益直接帶到紙面上來給你看。所以我認(rèn)為給我這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)是合理的。
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